Consumer report

I ran out of reading material and couldn't sleep on my recent flight from NYC. I was forced to face utter bordem or flip through the atrocious in flight magazines. Half way through the "Sky Mall" (selling you everything and anything at top notch prices) catalog, I was struck with how tacky, useless, or just plain stupid most of the items were. Here are some examples I ripped out (hey they said it was a complimentary magazine and seriously, I am doing people a favor by removing these items).

Behold, the truck antlers. For just $25 you can easily identify your truck in a crowded gun show parking lot....or maybe not.


Not sure how to both provide more light and sleaze to a room, why the party girl lamp is just for you. Honestly I don't know what is the worse thought, wanting this lamp or wanting this lamp so much that you are willing to pay nearly $400 to have it!


I did a double take when I first saw this "exercise device". It reminded me of a sex toy highly touted in the porn industry. Let me see, straddle the saddle, the vibrating and rocking motion makes you work your inner thigh muscles....nope, I don't see the difference except for the pommel horn placement. Honestly, for $419, a male hooker is a cheaper option.


Now this is not from the "sky mall" catalog. It was on the package for the patterned pantyhose I just purchased. Obviously made in China right. I don't quite understand how the stockings hold up my hips (my legs or hell, skeleton system kind of do that already). But hey they must be awesome because they make even LOGS look long and pretty...sold! Frankly I just don't get the last line, gives you tight hips and hides your short legs.....baby that is called genetics not stretch nylon.