Sunday, August 21, 2011

Hooker Receipt

Here is a story that I believe enough time has passed in order for me to tell it. I was talking with my friend Bob (key person in the big dick guy part deux edition) the other day about the dangers of quickie relationships. Actually the story came about due to the forthcoming big dick guy final edition. During my stay in NYC, my friend met a guy on eHarmony. They were immediately over the moon and moved in with each other after three months of dating. She told me to keep New Years open (six months away) as that was their planned wedding date. After a month of living together, she was tidying up their apartment. She picked up some folded cardigans on her bedside table, and a slip of paper fell out. On the paper was her boyfriend’s name, cell phone number, address and directions to their place, a list of sexual services, and a price. Yep, it basically was a receipt from a hooker. She tried to make sense of it and our standing theory is that the hooker had a heart of gold. Okay it is a bit of a stretch, but maybe just maybe the hooker came over and realized this guy was cheating on his girlfriend/fiancé (there were pictures of them everywhere, scented candles, and other girly things all over the apartment) and purposely hid the receipt in between her cardigans on her bedside table.
Anyway, she then logged on to his email account. Now they had exchanged email passwords in the beginning of their cohabitation, but never before had she felt the need to use it. Well in his sent box, there were according to her “thousands” of emails to women looking to hook up within the last month. I doubt there were thousands, but I bet there were lots and it is especially disturbing that they occurred while they were living together. My friend never denied him sexual experiences, so she was quite confused as to why he was soliciting them from other women. Well she took some of the overly racy and explicit ones (ones where he included his picture so there was no doubt he sent them) and emailed them to her close friends for a second opinion. We were able to confirm her suspicion of cheating and pointed out to her that these emails to girls on craigslist were to call girls and hookers. The cheating was one blow, but it made it worse looking at the time stamp and realizing she was asleep next to him when he sent the emails.
She called him at work (it was 10pm and he frequently “worked late”) and informed him the gig was up. When he came home, she confronted him with the emails and hooker receipt. His response was “it is part of my lifestyle…and if you love me, you would just accept it because I am not going to change”. Sociopath!!! Of course my friend was all “I’m done” and left the apartment that night.
Okay this is the part of the story where my friend goes a little unhinged. Strictly out of concern, she took those racy emails and sent them to his parents! Yep. She prefaced them with a message informing them she thinks their son has a problem and that she no longer was going to watch over him anymore. Okay yeah that was a bit extreme, but it wasn’t done in spite…like this next part was.
She toyed around with the idea of sending those racy incriminating emails to his work. Now he is a high powered lawyer for a big NYC law firm. The even hint of illegal activity/involvement would get him fired and possibly disbarred. So she would not only get revenge, but she would ruin his life. This was just too much and we put the ax to the idea before he took an ax to her. Seriously, destroying his lifestyle would probably cause him to seek her bodily harm.
Thankfully she decided not to notify his work. He must have gotten wind of her idea though, because he soon sent her an offer. Ten thousand dollars to walk away and say nothing. She took the money. Sometimes does love pay.

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